Living with Limb Loss and Disability

Losing a limb, or living with a disability, changes far more than the body. Almost every part of life is touched at once: how you move through a day, how you see yourself, work, relationships, intimacy, independence, and what you assumed your future would look like.

The medical side of that journey is usually well covered. A surgeon, a prosthetist, a physiotherapist and a biokineticist each have their part, and they do it well. What often goes unattended is everything happening inside: the grief, the anger, the fear, and the quiet question of who you are now. That is the part I work with.

Counselling where you are

When getting to the practice is difficult, I come to you:

• At home, while you are recovering or adapting
• In hospital, in a trauma unit or general ward
• At a rehabilitation centre, alongside your rehab programme
• Online by Zoom, wherever you are

I travel as far as I am asked to, within reason. Travel costs are for your account, and I confirm them with you before the first visit, so there are no surprises. Once you are able to come to the practice in Stellenbosch, or to meet online, the usual session fee applies.

What we work on

• Grief for the body, and for the life you had. This is a loss like any other, and it deserves to be grieved rather than managed.
• The stages that come with it. Disbelief, anger, bargaining, despair, and eventually some form of acceptance. They rarely arrive in a tidy order, and they come around again.
• Identity. Who you are now, and who you are becoming, rather than a lesser version of who you were.
• Fear and anxiety. About falling, about pain, about dependence, about the future.
• Phantom sensation and pain, and the distress and sleeplessness that come with them.
• Relationships and intimacy. How the people around you have changed too, and what you need from them.
• Family, partners and carers, who carry their own worry and exhaustion, often in silence.
• Work, study and purpose. Returning, changing direction, or rebuilding a working life.
• Alcohol, medication and coping. Pain medication and drinking can quietly become a problem after an injury, and there is no judgement here. More on the Addiction and Dual Diagnosis page.

This work is not only for amputees. People living with a congenital disability, a spinal injury, a progressive condition or a long-term illness face many of the same questions, and are equally welcome.

I know this from the inside

My understanding of this is not only professional. I am an amputee myself, after a paragliding accident in my early thirties, and I have lived through the surgery, the rehabilitation, the prosthetics and the long rebuilding of a life around something I did not choose. I also speak openly about that life on my YouTube channel, The Amped Life.

In our sessions, though, your story is the one that matters. Mine is useful only where it helps you: it means you don't have to explain the obvious, and nothing you feel will shock me.

Working with your team

I am used to working as part of a team, from years in clinics and hospitals. With your consent, I can liaise with your surgeon, prosthetist, physiotherapist, biokineticist or case manager, so that the emotional side of your recovery isn't treated as something separate. Where a psychiatric assessment, medication or other medical care would help, I will say so and help you find the right person.

For rehabilitation teams, prosthetists and case managers: you are welcome to contact me about a patient who is struggling, with their permission. I am happy to work alongside you.

When to reach out

There is no threshold you have to reach first. People come at every stage:

• Before surgery, when an amputation is planned and the waiting is its own ordeal
• In the first weeks, when the reality lands
• During rehabilitation, when progress feels slow or the setbacks mount
• A year or more later, when everyone assumes you have adjusted and you are not sure you have
• As a partner, parent or carer, in your own right

Further reading and support

For the practical and medical side of limb loss, Össur's guide Living Well with Limb Loss is a clear, well-made introduction, covering the healthcare team, the phases of the first year, prosthetics and the questions most people have. I contributed to it, and some of the photographs in it are of me.

Össur also runs Mobility Clinics, which I recommend for amputees. Ask me or your prosthetist about the next one.

There are peer support groups too. Some are excellent and some are not, so rather ask me and we can talk about which might suit you.

Sessions

Sessions are fifty minutes, in person at my practice in Stellenbosch, online by Zoom, or at your home, hospital or rehabilitation centre. The fee is R800 a session in South Africa, or $65 internationally, with travel quoted separately for visits. More answers are on the FAQ page.

Getting in touch

Send me a message by email, WhatsApp or the contact form, and tell me a little about what is happening.

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